Never give all the heart by W. B. Yeats

"NEVER give all the heart, for love
Will hardly seem worth thinking of
To passionate women if it seem
Certain, and they never dream
That it fades out from kiss to kiss;
For everything that's lovely is
But a brief, dreamy. Kind delight.
O never give the heart outright,
For they, for all smooth lips can say,
Have given their hearts up to the play.
And who could play it well enough
If deaf and dumb and blind with love?
He that made this knows all the cost,
For he gave all his heart and lost."

He presents a irony here:

When you have the thought to play the part

you are not fully in love;

When you are fully in love,

you won't even have time think about playing the part.

Love is a lost game,

for two parts would never give all the heart...

Chapter 22 - Chilling Out

This exercise is just about finding the way to help you relax your body.

The first technique, "TRIPPING IN THE PAST" is already working for me.

I sit on a chair in Urban Center and place my legs on another chair. I close my eyes and imagine the lights in the lab as sunlight. I hear some really weak nose and imagine it as the sound of the wind. Then, I'm imagining I'm on a nice relaxing beach chair and the waves and waves of water hit the shore...

And I fall asleep for 20 minutes... The only thing I remembered from the dream is I'm carrying a book to a place with or maybe without 2 other people...

It's a really good exercise to fall asleep. I will practice other techniques in this chapter if the first one doesn't work anymore.

After the Hurricane

Luckly, the hurricane did not effect Philly much.

I took this picture in the moring to study the enviroment after a hurricane/rain.

It seems to me the cars at the top has clear reflection.

The relfection gets blur as it gets farther apart from the car.

The red bricks at the botton shows two different reflections:

 One reflection appears to review more of red; 

the other review more of white.

I think it's because of the angle of the bricks are different:

the whiter flection reflects more sunlight.

Chapter 32 - The Shadow

It's a pretty fun exercise ... imaging there is a superficial being talking to you in your head. I started with imaging a figure. I passed so many figures in my mind; none of them seems to be able to offer me anything I want, until I see of the face of Rumpelstiltskin (in the TV show “Once Upon a Time”, not the original fairytail). He is in his suite and walk close to me with his crutch. And the conversation starts:

(R: Rumpelstiltskin, M: Me)

R: What can I do for you here?

M: Wait. You are not the loving elder I suppose to meet? Are you?

R: Love is too much to ask for from a stranger, don’t you think so, daring? I’m just here for some entertainment. So let’s talk about the business. What do you want here?

M: I want nothing from you. Nothing I want can get from you.

R: No, daring. I know exactly what you want. You want power. You and I are the same kind. I can sense desperate souls.

M: How exactly you can give me power? What do you want from me?

R: Heart, of course. But just as a tip, heart contents the most powerful magic, once you lost it; it’s no way to repair.

M: No, I want to keep my heart… but I feel a hole in my chest and I can never cover it.

(Rumpelstiltskin seats closer with softer attitude)

R: It’s because you always want more and more and more. You can hardly be satisfied. I’m not asking you to stop wanting, because that mean you won’t want to see me anymore.

M: Why telling me the true… or it’s just another lie?

R: That is a question you can only answer by yourself. Hope that you still want to do business with me.

M: Now you have your entertainment. Leave me alone.

R: Until the next time.

Yeah, so it turns out my advisor is not any fairy godmother but someone is consistently trying to get me sell me soul.

I was doing this exercise on my bed without any music. It helped me to focus.

Secondary Actions in Japanese Anime

I was watching anime with my friend and I realize

 most of the anime has only one trick in showing secondary action:

-- hair and stripes!

If you pay close attention,

hairs in anime (espeacially girls' hair) have the most secondary action,

they change as the charactors move their head, walk or run.

Compair to hair, fabrics are put in less effort to look real.

In some better crafted anime, they let charactors wear clothes with stripes

and give the charactor more movements.

Some words of wisdom about true love

“It’s not just how you feel about him. It’s about how he makes you feel about yourself.
It’s not about losing yourself in him. It’s about becoming true to yourself with him.
It’s not about how great he is. It’s about how great you can become along side him.
It’s not about how much you love him. It’s about how much he helps you love yourself.
It’s not about his finding room in his heart for you. It’s about his finding room in his life for your energy, drive, ambition, passions and interests.
It’s not just about how good he is deep down. It’s about how you experience his goodness as you live your life together.
It’s not about how he makes you hungry to be with him. It’s about how much he makes you feel at home when you are with him.
It’s not about the love you share. It’s about your ability to fully, equally, deeply share your life together.
It’s about falling in like.”

     Link to the article: how-to-tell-if-its-really-love
  
     Not much to say about it, but the concept of it is: true love is about the interaction between two people, not one side of attraction.

Is game industry the best place for me to get into?

Define The Problem:

*  I’m a talented artist, but that doesn’t mean I will definitely be doing art for the rest of my life. The same thing for my data analysis skills and other skills I have.

*  Myself mostly. Then goes to anyone who can answer my question.

*  I’m multi-talented and execute plans well. I had work experience in small mobile game company.  Ideally there is no barrier for me to get into any field that I want to get into.

*  Bring fantasy into reality.

Restructure my problem:

*  What is the field that can exercise all my talents?

*  Is game industry where I can bring my fantasy into reality and fulfill my needs?

The 5 Whys:

*  Whoever I involve in the future and myself.

*  My career

* Figure out in next 5 years

*  Because I don’t want a job, I want a career.

* I want to work in the U.S. Maybe the west coast.

*  I had a so-so experience in a summer internship with a small mobile game company; so I worried that game industry may not be the best fit for me.

Separate the parts from the whole:

 

Rephrase the problem:

*  Should I place into game industry?

* Is game industry my destination?

Create a word chain:

Dear my last boss, thank you for ruining my first real job experience and the first experience in the game industry, oops, if you are in the game industry, look at what games you are making: racing cars, poker, utility, what, you think those are games, those are just your money makers, They don’t have any real game plays. You promised to mentor me at game development, but you didn’t. You said it was because the young programmer made so many mistakes and you waste so much time on him, yeah, I waste so much time here, too. You asked me to learn work ethics from Steve Jobs to work long hours, what Steve Jobs does? Yeah, selling iphones and iphones are products not games. Maybe you can take a class in not confusing games and normal products and we can talk. Why you want everyone to communicate though e-mail? Don’t you even notice how dead the working environment is. I don’t feel like your place produce any creativity. I so glad that I won’t work for you any more and good luck to your little company which does not offer any contract. Good luck taking all your time to run your business. Oh my god I feel so good split all those out at once.

Make it a positive action statement:

*  My last boss gave a so-so impression in work.

*  Be smart about find the right company.

*  Change my work environment

*  Be more out spoken if I think I am treated well, as I deserved.

*  I will feel fulfilled for my work.

Switch perspective:

*  The game industry isn’t fully grown yet. It definitely needs some visionaries to push it to the next level. But does it need me, not necessarily. It’s not because I’m not important, it’s just that those visionaries can be anybody. However, for people at my age, I have the skills and knowledge that better qualify me than others who also wants to work in game industry.

DaVinci’s Mutiple Perspectives:

*  There may be one field that suits me better.

* My friends would say you know you will find something, why bother yourself too much to find the better one? Adult  will say I’m in the right age to think about the right question.

*  I should worry about this question, but I should worry about it so much that I might miss out the present.

Use questions

*  As I said I don’t want a job, I want a career. If I want to make money I know I better off going into business.

*  Game industry is growing; it’s hard to predict which direction it is going into.

* What aspects of a job in game industry that is bad and I have to bare with and which aspects are not.

* I read industry news and read hiring posts from different company. I talk to people who have or had the opposition I wanted to make sure their description matches my impression of the job. I think I’m in a good position.

* Yes. I can list all my options and their attributes. Then make a decision grid.

*  I’m interesting anything that due with arts, numbers or people, not anything else.

*   Joining clubs in schools. I only stay in clubs that I feel welcomed.

*  I will success in my career.

Think of the problem as:

      *

*  Bitter and sweet

*  A little boy

*  Gold

* Loud Jazz

*  Flexible, can be shaped in any way, but feels like powder

* It dances with rhythm. The waves are hard to predict.

Don't be a litter-bug!

I went on a paint ball trip,

it was really fun.

When everybody tend to play it aggressively,

I try to find a spot that I won't be attacked from behind and just stay there until i see someone from a different team.

It wasn't a good stretagy,

because there were pros in the game and they were much better than me.

I may not be the one got hit early,

but it didn't bring me victory either.

Chapter 25 - DA VINCI'S TECHNIQUE

This time I'm trying to solve a problem every DIGM student will have: I don't have enough time. :( What doesn't fit is I want to have some time for myself. My obstacle is I tend to take too many classes. The unknown is some classes have ridiculous workloads and I can’t predict them in advance… So, I come to a conclusion: what is bothering me most is: if I’m taking 3 or more classes in digital media, my life will guaranteed to be miserable…

After I identified my problem, I did some free drawing like we did in class. Those are the words I come up with when I see the drawing: worm, attack, swim, an up-side-down muffin cup, bat, heart, shell and scarf. I wrote a paragraph this way: A bat is attacking a worm with a scarf. At this time, a shell that looks like an up-side-down muffin cup swims nearby and comes to save the worm. After the worm was saved, he thanked the shell and they become good friends ever after…

I’m not sure how this story will help answering my question, or save my life. However, it seems like I can use some help in the most unexpected situation. It’s the only thing I get from it…

It was not as helpful as I thought. I was cooking red bean soup while doing the exercise, so I need to consistently get up and see if the soup is done. It worked, because I got this done and I ate my favorite red bean soup.

Sensation

I got some Pho for dinner at the noodle bar.

As I walked outside the the noodle bar,

I felt I step on something and heard a crispy sound.

I was walking on grass, 

so I thought I might drop something and stepped on it.

 It turned out to be just a plastic shield for wires I stepped on.

It's a unsual engagement process,

becuase it was just triggered by sound and touch.

Every game designer are working their ass off to engagement the audience

the ways video game can directly engage audiences are visual and sound eliments.

You might argue some games involve touching,

but you are not going to feel the texture of what you touch in games.

In conclusion, a better entertainment should fully engage your five senses.

Wow, I may become the next Newton

by just step on a plastic.

Artist tape words

My friends complained about the walls in my room were so empty,

so I used artist tape to create some words on the wall.

The words are:

"There's a WILL, There's a WAY."

It's a little bit cheesy, but I like it.

Creative Lighting v2

The white balls catches my attention as I walk pass the street.

One of my strength in computer imagery is dramatic lighting.

I can see I'm using those sphere-shape light bulbs to decoriate a scene.

If I have a picture during night, it will be more helpful.

The best looking vegetable in the world!

Those cauliflowers are really pretty!!!

I saw those at Pike Market in Seattle,

unfortunately I didn't try them.

They looks like mathmeticly calculated patterns that creates tonado-like effects.

Maybe I should take more classes in math,

so that I can generate cool patterns with math equations~

Chapter 33 -- Book Of The Dead

(I did this exercise first time in a extreme uncomfortable situation. The interpretation was really dark and hilarious, so I decide not to talk about it.)

I always wonder what role should I take when I work in a game company, because it seems like I'm cable to be in any position.

I start the exercise with SET ONE. Those are the insights I grained from the Book of Dead:

The first line:

-- star and people on his knees: the goal is there but I just don’t know how to get there.

-- knife, cross and snack: the snack is my problem. It could be both a throat and an opportunity.

Line 6:

--      A shocked face and a happy face separated by a balance symbol: 1. I should keep finding emotions from abstract things. 2. Don’t be afraid to be shocked. I might find surprise after.

--      A small bird and a big bird: I am still growing.

My interpretation is the answer is open ended, just like the Moon in tarot cards(The interesting thing is I got a lot of the Moon in tarot cards when I asked questions like the one I’m asking now.) I should keep growing and always ready for shocks and surprises in my life.

It’s the hardest and most ambiguous exercise I do so far. I am trying to gain insight from something does not make sense. It makes me question how useful the exercise really is. I’m listening to Pandora’s “chasing pavements” channel on internet at my desk, while doing the exercise. It’s relaxing and helps to focus.